


The Birkholtz-Oluransis

by YumKiwiDelicious



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Birkholtz-Oluransi, Brotp, M/M, engaged bros, married bros, no one on the team can keep track of this relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7148399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumKiwiDelicious/pseuds/YumKiwiDelicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The idea of Ransom and Holster being married was about as natural as the idea that peanut butter combined with jelly tastes good.</p><p>First piece - Ransom and Holster have been married THE WHOLE TIME and no one knew<br/>Second piece - Ransom and Holster get engaged and everyone thought that was old news</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Justin Birkholtz-Oluransi, bachelor’s in Biology, Summa Cum Laude.”

If the fact that his last name was hyphenated with that of his fellow D-Man wasn’t hint enough, Holster’s enthusiastic yell of “THAT’S MY HUSBAND!” from within the seats of uncalled students let Ransom’s team know pretty quick. Him and Holster were fucking married.

They’re shocked, but something tells them all they shouldn’t be. The idea of Ransom and Holster being married was about as natural as the idea that peanut butter combined with jelly tastes good. Still they’d had no idea. There wasn’t anything they could do about it at that moment per say; except for turn to each other with faces open in shocked ‘O’s of surprise. Shitty may or may not have been muttering that he fucking knew it throughout the rest of the ceremony, but Lardo was quick to hush him when it was Adam’s turn to walk across the stage. Again the same name, Birkholtz-Oluransi, preceded the title of his degree and the fact that he was being honored as Cum Laude. Ransom kicked up just as big a fuss as the blonde had as Holster beamed, waving from his spot center stage.

The rest of the graduation passed without any more surprises and once they’d turned their tassels and Adam had flung his cap near out of this atmosphere, the whole team converged, questions on their lips. The only thing that held them back was the D-Men’s families who swarmed the two of them, hugs and kisses and tears being passed around so liberally that it was nearly impossible to tell which boy belonged to which clan. Ransom’s sisters sandwiched Holster in an affectionate hug as their brother was praised within an inch of his life by Mrs. Birkholtz. 

They took about a million pictures. Justin and Adam. Justin and Adam with their mothers. Justin and Adam with Justin’s father. Justin with his sisters. Adam with Justin’s sisters. Adam with Justin’s mom. Justin with Adam’s mom. Justin with his parents and sisters. Adam with his mom. All of them squished together smiling dopily. On and on.

It wasn’t until Mrs. Oluransi glanced over and noticed the team hovering awkwardly at the edge of oblivion that she smiled and waved them over. A million and one more pictures were taken. Ransom and Holster with the whole team. Ransom and Holster with each individual member of the team. Ransom and Holster with the former members of the team. Ransom and Holster with each individual former member of the team. Ransom and Holster being hefted up onto the shoulders of all members of the team both past and present. On and on.

It was only when the D-Men’s family retreated to review the photos and talk dinner reservations that the Wellies, both past and present, were able to lay into the two graduates.

“Bros, you’re fucking married?!” Shitty hissed, saying what was absolutely on everyone’s mind as Ransom began to shed his cap and gown. Holster was squinting into the distance and muttering about attempting to find his tassel.

“Ha ha,” Ransom chuckled sarcastically, handing his cap to his husband as he started to complain about not having the momento to hold onto, “Very funny, Shits.”

The tense silence that followed pulled the D-Men to full attention. Everyone was just staring at them.

“Wait, did you seriously not know?”

“Bros!” Holster was wounded.

“You never said anything!” Lardo defended, earning nods from Bitty and Jack who held hands at the edge of the group. “How were we supposed to know?!”

“We wear rings!” At this, both of the young men held up their left hands and, sure enough, they each had thick golden bands encircling their ring fingers. Shitty makes the predictable statement that it’s presumptuous and borderline homophobic to assume two bros wearing matching rings means they’re married. Jack swore in French under his breath because he’d been looking at those rings for no less than four years. When he quietly pointed this out Holster shrugged. “Yeah, we got married the summer after freshmen year.”

“WHAT?!”

“Marriage is nothing but a social construct, man!”

Shitty’s outburst was ignored as Justin took Adam’s hand the same way he’d been doing for four years and explained that they got married at Niagara Falls and that’s the reason they returned there every summer; to celebrate their anniversary.

“I can’t believe y’all,” Bitty stammered, free hand pressed to his flaming cheek, “All that time I was worried about being gay on a college hockey team you coulda been talking me down!”

“Woah, we’re not gay,” Holster said, looking offended Bitty would assume such a thing, but then correcting himself with a shrug, “Well, I’m gay. Ransom’s bisexual.”

Shitty apparently couldn’t take it anymore and burst into tears before enveloping the two younger men in a bone crushing hug, blubbering how proud he was of them and their blatant disregard for both gender and social norms. His crying hitched up another notch, however, when he began to bemoan how knowledge of their union could have bettered his senior thesis. Lardo had to cart him away, assuring the others they’d return after the Harvard student calmed down some. Ransom and Holster watched them go, hands linked and eyebrows furrowed in an uncannily similar expression.

“I just can’t believe we never picked up on it, eh,” Jack cut through the silence. The others all nodded, suddenly feeling foolish as they saw how the two former co-captains smiled warmly at each other, pure love shining through the gaze. If Shitty were more coherent he’d have been negating his former statements and claiming it was borderline homophobic to have assumed they were only friends simply because they were all used to heteronormative relationships between men. 

The Birkholtz-Oluransis don’t seem to mind.

“It’s cool,” Justin says, “Now you know.” Adam nods his agreement, catching his mother’s eye across the quad. They’re being waved over. He nudges Justin. “We can talk about it more later, but our family is waiting for us.”

The others nod dumbly realizing, _holy shit, Holster and Ransom are a **family**_ , before waving the two boys off. They leave still holding hands.


	2. Chapter 2

“Bros, we have an announcement.”

Ransom’s voice manages to pull the attention of everyone in the room. Bitty, with a fat textbook resting in his lap and Jack behind him who’s visiting for the weekend. Shitty, who is also visiting, and Lardo in his lap, game controllers in both their grips. Chowder, Dex, and Nursey, who are sitting on the floor surrounded by notes and practice tests. Everyone does an about-face and looks at Ransom standing in the doorway holding tight to Holster’s hand.

“What’s up, brah?”

“Holster and I-”

“We’re engaged!”

“Bro!” 

Holster winces, smiling apologetically at his fellow D-Man and fiance. They had agreed to break the news slowly and together, but he just couldn’t hold it in. He was going to marry his best friend and he was so damn excited he just wanted to shout it from the roof of the Haus. Ransom could see this all reflected in his eyes and huffed good-naturedly, not really upset in the least. He was excited too. They took another moment to gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes before remembering that they had an audience.

Turning back to their teammates both past and present, they were met with a shockingly underwhelming reaction. The frogs had simply gone back to studying, Dex muttering about not needing the interruption right now. Bitty and Jack were both nodding as if waiting to hear more and Lardo looked as if she were attempting to care, but failing miserably. Eventually she merely unpaused her game and went back to it. Only Shitty gave them a reply.

“Uh, yeah, we know.”

The D-Men balked. 

“What do you mean you know?”

“What do you mean what do I mean? We already know you two are engaged, why’re you making a big announcement?” The former winger frowned apologetically. “Not that we’re not excited or anything..”

“You can’t know! Ransom just proposed like two minutes ago!” Adam turned to Justin looking suspicious. “Did you tell them you were going to-”

“No!”

“What’re you talking about, eh?” Jack’s voice carried over the approaching bickering match and got the two men back on track. “You two have been engaged since like...” He takes a moment to think about it. “...2013.”

Everyone in the room nodded because everyone knew this to be the fact of the matter. Ransom and Holster were a pair in every way and so it only made sense that they were engaged to be married. When Shitty had first told Bitty of the two’s impending union his freshmen year he’d simply nodded in understanding, feeling better about coming out. The frogs had had similar reactions when Bitty told them. The idea of Ransom and Holster being married was about as natural as the idea that peanut butter combined with jelly tastes good. No one was surprised.

Ransom and Holster sputtered in the doorway in shock.

“Dudes, we were not engaged until a few minutes ago, I swear!” Holster explains, drawing everyone’s eyes again. “We weren’t even dating!”

This gets some very skeptical looks because no one with eyes would ever believe Justin Oluransi and Adam Birkholtz were not in a serious, committed, long-term relationship with one another. Yet there they stand, looking pretty miffed that no one is celebrating their big news. Sure, they could admit to themselves they were stupid the last few years, skirting around the fact they spent every waking (and sometimes sleeping) minute together and never even entertained the fact that maybe they felt more than guy-love between them, but bros see what bros want to see. The situation had all come to a head not ten minutes prior when Holster swore to follow wherever Ransom went for grad school which prompted Ransom to kiss him and then immediately propose. To which Holster obviously said yes. They knew it was a big leap, platonic bros to fiances, but they couldn’t fathom that everyone in the Haus had just assumed they were fiances the whole time.

“You fucking with us?” Lardo asks, eyes narrowed dangerously. Holster just continues to gape as Ransom swears again that they absolutely were not an item before that day.

The room is quiet for a time before...

“Well, shit! CONGRATULATIONS!”

Shitty’s outburst sets the room ablaze with excitement and everyone crowds the two, shouting sincere congrats and barreling through for hugs. Chowder may be crying. Bitty is beside himself chattering on and on about wedding cakes while Jack just looks at him fondly before clapping a hand to each of his former D-Men’s shoulders. Holster and Ransom are just beaming, hands still clasped between them. The announcement hadn’t gone as they’d planned, but it was good none the less. This was good.

They’d talked about it; they were going to be the Birkholtz-Oluransis.

In the mists of an absolutely smothering group hug that will quickly dissolve into a dog pile, Justin leans over to talk directly into Adam’s ear, lips touching skin.

“Knew you had my back.”

“Bro. You totally had mine.


End file.
